Jack & Jill
by SGL
Summary: Kyouraku Shunsui's and Ise Nanao's first day together. Ouch.


NOTE ON EDIT: After a very helpful review, I realized I did not make something clear: the newbie and Nanao are not the same person. In fact, I envisioned the shy newbie as male! Mistake has been corrected, hopefully.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I'm not brilliant.

#49 Jack and Jill

_Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water._

Actually, Captain Kyouraku Shunsui climbed up onto the sunny roof of headquarters with a pretty jug of sake for the usual purpose: he was avoiding work.

Just minutes before, a very small and timid boy (a "newbie" shinigami of the 8th Division) stumbled into the captain's office under the weight of an uncommonly tall stack of paperwork. Kyouraku took one look and fled, leaving behind his protesting and thoroughly disgruntled new vice captain.

"Come back here, Captain Kyouraku!"

She was not really supposed to follow him.

Kyouraku's last vice captain had been an elderly-looking, tired man who had been quite used to having to "do all the boring stuff" and covering for his younger, stronger captain. As the old man had put it, "It is less tiring to _do_ his work than to try to convince Kyouraku Shunsui to sit at a desk."

The old man had retired just last month. The replacement vice captain had been instated at a special meeting with Yamaji that Kyouraku had missed due to personal health reasons.

i.e. He fell asleep.

Kyouraku had received her file beforehand. He'd skimmed over this Ise Nanao's former ranking as Third Seat in _someone_ else's division, her high kidou scores from school, her exceptional recommendations, and a formal essay on Hollow Theory that made Kyouraku's head spin with her brilliance. Her profile was classic and perfect and Kyouraku couldn't care less. He'd expected the mousy, socially inept, meek type of book-smart shinigami who didn't get out much.

So when she'd swept into his office that morning with a stiffly disapproving posture and a vaguely friendly introduction, he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"Ooh, you're cute!"

For a moment, she fell silent, stunned and red-faced, but she regained herself and stuttered out something about "inappropriate comments in a professional relationship." He had a feeling she would've continued had she not been interrupted by the other "newbie."

"Oh, dear. Well, I believe you are a qualified professional and can handle this well enough yourself, my cute Nanao-chan!"

He leapt out the window.

"Wait! Captain, this is _your_ work!" She scrambled after him. "And what the hell did you just call me?"

"Surely you can complete _paperwork_ much better than myself!" Kyouraku dashed across the roof, gripping the brim of his hat.

"That may be true, but this is part of your job," she scolded, running only a few feet behind him. "Without your help I cannot possibly be asked to finish on time."

"Oh well, I've never appreciated deadlines. Take all the time you like." He waved his hand lazily before speeding up to leap over the gap of an alley.

_Jack fell down..._

He had not expected her to catch up so quickly, nor would he have chosen that moment for her to do so. Kyouraku was just over the edge when she took one step too close and tripped on the flying hem of his pink robe.

Nanao fell forward, hard, right into his back and he lost his balance in midair. They fell into a twisting, flailing (and in Nanao's case, screaming) tumble off the roof.

_and broke his crown,_

Their legs were still entangled; he couldn't position himself to land properly. Kyouraku grasped her shoulders and forced her up over him only a meter or so from impact. He hit the ground with his back, his head crashing back painfully.

_and Jill came tumbling after._

A split second later, Kyouraku felt the breath squeezed out of him as the full weight of Nanao's falling figure landed on his ribcage.

"Oof!"

"Ow."

"Captain! I'm sorry! Are you okay? Why did you do that? There was no need!"

"Can't answer. Can't breathe."

Nanao rolled off his chest and helped him sit up and catch his breath.

"Are you okay, captain?"

"I'm fine, of course." He whipped out the sake bottle. Good, still in one piece. Kyouraku popped the cap and took a large sip. "I've had much worse than a bruised back and a bump on the head."

"That's not just a bump! You're bleeding!" Well, what do you know? He was. A thin stream of blood was dripping happily off his temple.

Kyouraku ignored his wound and reached out and put one large hand on her head. Her hair was very soft.

"Are you okay?"

She blinked. "Yes, thanks to you, I'm absolutely fine."

"Then have a drink, Nanao-chan! Loosen up a bit." He held the bottle out to her.

She stared at it uncertainly.

"Is that your solution to everything?"

END

I guess I was inspired while reading through the 100 Themes list on the ShunsuiXNanao LJ community. Plus, I wanted to write a fic about Shunsui's and Nanao's first week together. Note: this was written in about two hours.

Well, you spent a few minutes reading this. Why not spend one more reviewing? I love constructive criticism. Help me out here.

Thanks for reading!


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